Jay Cutler’s Chickens have been Avenged

For a week now Jay Cutler has fought valiantly to protect his chicken farm. The story has captivated America the entire time. I want a Jay Cutler reality show. I don’t really want Jay to change his life in any way either. Blue the Rooster, his cat, and the rest of the farm is plenty of entertainment for me, and Monica from Friends apparently.

I really need to have my cries heard here. Someone PLEASE give Jay Cutler his own reality show. His Instagram posts/stories are not enough. I'm sitting here on the edge of my seat about CHICKENS. I need more. — Courtney Cox (@coxcourtney) June 30, 2020

Well the Jay Cutler reality show had to come to an end. The culprit has been caught. My joking guess was a bit off. My real guess though? Nailed it. Those adorable little trash pandas were the murderers. Not all that surprising when you think about it. Raccoons hunt for sport, which would explain the fact that the chickens weren’t eaten. Plus those sumbitches are smart. Which would explain how they were able to avoid the traps the first time around. Shout out to the raccoons though. Them killing the chickens forced Jay Cutler into being an instagram star. We got to follow along with a fun story for an entire week. Seems like most good stories have only lasted a day or two this year. Hopefully Blue the Rooster and his sidekick can keep the chicken farm safe going forward.


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