Can you name a single Astros player that was suspended for cheating their way to a World Series victory? No? It’s because not a single player was suspended. Not one game. Yet American hero Joe Kelly gets suspended for 8 games for throwing pitches at Astros players because they fucking deserve it. Joe Kelly didn’t even hit a player. He just gave us the greatest baseball meme of all time. A hero. Hit the Astros in the dick next time. Show them how much it hurts to cheat your way to a championship.
Joe Kelly also told Carlos Correa that he swings like a little bitch, which I imagine he does swing like one when a trash can isn’t telling him where the pitch will be. It does not matter that Joe Kelly threw multiple pitches at Astros players, they deserved it, they are not the victims here. If the league won’t punish these players you can bet your ass the Dodgers and the other teams the Astros royally fucked over will.
Remember during spring training when Astros players were getting hit by pitches every single game. Now the games matter, and a lot more since there’s less, so the players are going to get their revenge against the Astros as quickly as possible. Less games makes the wins and losses count a lot more, but it makes the suspensions more impactful as well. If this were a normal length season this 8 game suspension for Joe Kelly would equate out to 21.6 games. There’s only 55 games left of the season so with the 8 game suspension Joe Kelly is out for almost 15% of the season. MATH!
The guy is losing 15% of his season and for what? Throwing a pitch too close to a known cheaters head? Whoop de fuckity doo. ASTROS PLAYERS AREN’T VICTIMS. They cheated and now must suffer the consequences. The consequences are just every single pitcher in the MLB wanting to throw a 90+ mile an hour fastball straight at your head.
Joe Kelly gained fans in 29 teams when he threw those pitches and made that face. He’s an American Treasure. That moment will probably be the best part of the 2020 MLB season. Free Joe Kelly. If you’re gonna suspend him for doing the right thing the MLB had better start suspending cheaters.